another quiz... What's my accent?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

Other dialectal possibilities include the West, Boston, North Central, The Inland North, The South, Philadelphia, and The Northeast.

What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

So apparently I don't have one. I think most comedians have accents--I shall adopt one when on stage. But which one?--there are so many.

Fake Accents
One time I knew this guy from Michigan that was stalking my roommate (who was also a guy *weird--it was for experimental-music reasons), and he always spoke with a British accent. Yeah, any of you ever meet a person with a permanent fake accent? What did you do about it? We avoided him like a mafia hit-man. One time I was in the Malt Shop on Freedom Blvd with my roommate (the stalk-ee) and friends. This joint has huge mirrors on some of the walls. I happened to be looking in a mirror (well I'm a little vain, so that's not a shocker), and I see the stalker walk in the shop. I discretely communicated the situation to my roommate, and, without making a huge scene, the two of us successfully evacuated a group of 9 clueless friends. Then, on the way home, we told them a ridiculous exaggerated version of the original story to freak them out.
Part of the true story was the guy's fake accent. That really freaked them out.

My Life Across a Map

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

This is a map of the states I've been to. I thought it would be fun to show you and encourage you to share the same with me--mostly so we can isolate and mock those people that haven't been out of their home state.

Car MD--Universal Autocare!

So you use CarMD to scan your vehicle and then plug the handheld into your PC's USB port, for Web scanning. You're connected to the CarMD online database, which can give you pricing for parts and, more importantly, labor.
link

This is something worth investing in, if you work on your car yourself or not. It's only $90.

Mitt Romney Statements

(* indicates an extra amount of agreement from me)




Defeating the Jihadists

The defeat of this radical and violent faction of Islam must be achieved through a combination of American resolve, international effort, and the rejection of violence by moderate, modern, mainstream Muslims.* An effective strategy will involve both military and diplomatic actions to support modern Muslim nations.* America must help lead a broad-based international coalition that promotes secular education, modern financial and economic policies, international trade, and human rights.

Competing with Asia

China and the rest of Asia are on the move economically and technologically. They are a family oriented, educated, hard-working, and mercantile people. We must be ready and able to compete.** This means ensuring our children are educated to compete in this new market, our trade laws are fair and balanced, and our economy and tax laws welcome new investment. If America acts boldly and swiftly, the emergence of Asia will be an opportunity.** Trade and commerce with these huge new economies can further strengthen our economy and propel our growth. If America fails to act, we will be eclipsed.*** link

Simplifying the Tax System

America's tax code is a labyrinth that imposes an enormous and unnecessary burden on our citizens and employers. Keeping taxes low and simplifying the code will grow the economy and enhance our competitiveness.*

Stopping Runaway Spending

The Federal government must stop its borrowing and spending binge. The debt is a burden on our economy, our currency, our foreign policy, and our future.** This is beyond pork barrel spending. We must address entitlement programs - not just to save money - but to give Americans confidence in their future.

Getting Immigration Right

Immigration has been an important part of our nation's success. The current system, however, puts up a concrete wall to the best and brightest, yet those without skill or education are able to walk across the border.** We must reform the current immigration laws so we can secure our borders, implement a mandatory biometrically enabled, tamper proof documentation and employment verification system, and increase legal immigration into America.

Achieving Energy Independence

We must become independent from foreign sources of oil. This will mean a combination of efforts related to conservation and efficiency measures, developing alternative sources of energy like biodiesel, ethanol, nuclear, and coal gasification, and finding more domestic sources of oil such as in ANWR or the Outer Continental Shelf (OCS).

Affirming America's Culture and Values

American values are at the heart of America's historic rise to world leadership. These include, among others, respect for hard work, sacrifice, civility, love of family respect for life, education and love of freedom.** To remain a superpower in the world we must continuously and vigorously reaffirm these key components that have led to America's greatness as a country.

Investing in Technology

Our national investment in technology comes from both the private and public sector; however corporations today spend more on tort liability than they do on R&D. While the government already invests heavily in defense, space and health technologies, it is time to invest substantially in technologies related to power generation, nanotechnology, and materials science.**

Extending Health Insurance to All Americans

The health of our nation can be improved by extending health insurance to all Americans, not through a government program or new taxes, but through market reforms.*

Raising the Bar on Education

Today's schools are falling further and further behind world standards. It is time to raise the bar on education by making teaching a true profession, measuring progress, providing a focus on math and science, and involving parents from the beginning of a child's school career.*

link to Mitt's Web site

I think the best thing about Mitt is that he isn't so much a politician as he is an excellent CEO. He is sacrificing CEO-pay and giving up privacy in exchange for serving the American people. (I do acknowledge that some human part of him also lusts for power, but that is a given for any candidate.) Anyway, he will be one of the greatest presidents ever if the American people use their heads and hearts at the ballot box in 2008. The primaries aren't too far away. His first fundraiser dwarfed the fundraisers of Giuliani and McCain. Round 1: Romney!

federal congressional term limits

The following is copied from Wikipedia's article on federal congressional term limits accompanied by my counter arguments:

In favor of limits

"It prevents incumbents from using the benefits of office to remain in power indefinitely."
In some situations, merely being in office provides an elected official with a distinct advantage in further elections. Supporters of term limits argue that this advantage is undemocratic, and means that incumbents no longer fear losing their offices and cease to be concerned with the needs of their constituents. Term limits ensure that all officials are eventually removed from power.

"It makes room for fresh candidates, and encourages participation."
Imposing term limits on an office ensures that there will always be vacancies for new candidates to pursue. This may encourage citizens who would normally not consider running for office to do so, as they will not be challenging an established, entrenched opponent. Many proponents claim that term limits will increase diversity in a legislature, bringing the law-making body's demographics more in line with those of the general population.

"It stops politicians from making choices solely to prolong their career."
If a politician can serve as many terms as they wish, they may be tempted to follow policies which will ensure their long-term political survival, rather than policies which further the interests of voters. Supporters of term limits sometimes argue that if politicians know from the beginning of their service that their time in office is limited, they will act differently (and less self-servingly) than “career” legislators.

"It reduces the advantage which can be gained by a representative's seniority."
In some legislatures, power and influence tend to increase as a legislator gains seniority — a politician who has served many terms will carry more responsibility than one who has just been elected, even if both are representing the same number of voters. If one district continually re-elects the same politician, while another district frequently changes its politician, the first district will have greater sway in the legislature than the second, because its representative has had time to accrue seniority. Term limits ensure that each district has representatives of similar seniority.

Against limits

"It is undemocratic."
The most common argument against the use of term limits is that it takes away the right of voters to be represented by the politician of their choice. It is argued that if the public wish to re-elect their representative, it is undemocratic to prevent them from doing so. Allow the electorate to do its job, argue opponents, and non-responsive legislators can still be held accountable.

"It results in a lack of experienced politicians."
Term limit opponents argue that, with experience, comes greater skill. The very use of the term “freshman representative” is indicative of the fact that the first-term legislator is less likely to be able to “get things done” in the legislature. It is further argued that inexperienced politicians will be more reliant on advice and guidance from un-elected officials and lobbyists. Permanent committee staffers, who ostensibly work for the representatives, would become more knowledgeable and powerful than the members themselves. Moreover, lobbyists in the employ of special interests might tend to grow more powerful, as they can offer to “help” inexperienced members gain a foothold. Because both staffers and lobbyists are unelected, opponents argue, term limits are undemocratic because it places more power in the hands of the unelected.

"It means that politicians approaching their term limit no longer have to worry about what voters think."
Another argument against term limits is that it is the very fact that politicians need to go back to the voters for approval and reelection that keeps them responsive. With term limits, a lame duck legislator no longer has any motivation to continue heeding the concerns of his constituents. In such a circumstance, a legislator could use their last term to set themselves up for a job in the private sector after the end of their legislative career.

"It simply results in frequent trading of office between the same people, not an influx of new people."
In contrast to the claims that term limits allow new faces to enter politics, opponents claim that there are enough political offices for elected officials to simply "play musical chairs". In response to claims that term limits promote diversity, on August 15, 2006 the United States' National Conference of State Legislatures issued a report at its annual meeting stating that "term limits have not led to significant increases in female or minority representation in state legislatures, according to a survey of the 15 states with term limits."

My Counter Arguments for Term Limits

It is undemocratic?
There are nearly 300 million Americans, and you think you can’t find another person to do a great job in a congressional seat? That’s insulting.

It results in a lack of experienced politicians?
What experience do we want politicians to have? Experienced in how to manage through the bureaucracy, and deal with special interest groups? What we really don’t need are experienced, career politicians. When the career politicians are gone, the freshman politicians will have a much easier time getting things done, despite their naïvety of the DC status quo. We need people with normal American life experience. Career politicians are the ones lacking this valuable experience.

It means that politicians approaching their term limit no longer have to worry about what voters think?
Political scientist Mark Petracca observes, "Electoral competition is no longer possible in a system where the benefits and power of incumbency virtually guarantee a lifelong career as a legislator." (The Politics and Law of Term Limits, p. 68). Politicians that are career politicians are guaranteed long careers because of the power of incumbency, according to Petracca. So we can have career politicians that never care much or term-limited citizen-representatives potentially shirking their responsibilities--the latter sounds better to me, too.

It simply results in frequent trading of office between the same people, not an influx of new people?
So a study is cited saying that more females and minorities have not filled state representative positions as a result of their state-level term limitations. Ok, well, gender and ethnic diversity is another fruit compared to "new people"--we're talking about rotation of authority among any and all new citizens. You can’t reach the valid conclusion that low participation by women and minorities proves that other new citizens aren't participating in civil service with that information. (Also note that the organization that wrote the report is basically a special interest group for politicians. So why would it stab its comrades' career hopes in the back?)

We don’t need civil servants with specialized political experience. We need men and women that are experienced with life outside the beltway of DC, that have worked in our education system, that have served in the armed forces, that have nourished the entrepreneurial spirit of our great nation. These will lead the way to future, unfathomable global and domestic successes.

heros that aren't

Everyday people almost die and get injured. And also, all the time, people can easily help them, without risking anything unusual, and of course they do. This second group sometimes gets the label "hero."

Yeah, I'm not buying it. Hero is a title for a person that risks major sacrifice in order to help. A hero is not a man that happens upon an abandoned baby, a daughter helping a drowning father in shallow water, or a cat dialing 9-1-1 mysteriously for the owner. These are stories of narrowly escaped tragedy, not heroism.

[OK, fine, the cat story is cute.]


Here is a real hero story.

Your Account Cannot Be Validated

Updated at the bottom 1/10/07

This is a continuation of the last post; I'm still having problems with my phone.

So, I tried to make a phone call earlier today, and I got the dreadfully familiar recording, "Your account cannot be validated, call *2." I call up the number *2.

me: "Hello, I'm having a continuation of a problem. I tried to use my phone this morning, and it has the same problem that it has had since Saturday. For some reason it will be fixed and will work for one day, but then the next day it goes back to the original problem. [Imagine me explaining the problem in more detail to Shaniqua here. (Re)read the Jan. 3rd post if necessary.]

Shaniqua: "Mmm, OK, are you currently on that phone which has the problem?"

me: "Yep."

Shaniqua: "Yeah, OK, we need to first reprogram your phone, and we can't do that if you're on the phone."

me: "Yeah, well I can guarantee you that the reprogramming won't fix my problem. This is a weird network thing. Please just transfer me to tech support."

Shaniqua: "Yeah, I can't do that, sir. We have to step through the first steps before I can be authorized to transfer you."

me: "Well you can believe me that I'm way beyond steps 1 to maybe 23 already. I've had this phone in the hands of your companies technicians locally, and the reprogramming didn't work. Please just transfer me."

S.: "no, you need to call on another phone"

me: "please, I don't have another phone."

S.: "Sir, that's the only option I can offer you."

me: "I need to talk to a supervisor or something, because this is getting ridiculous."

S.: "Ok, sir, but they won't transfer you to tech support either."

me: "you're probably right, but I've got the time--and who knows? maybe I'll get lucky."

(she puts me on hold for a few minutes)

Supervisor of Shaniqua: "How can I help you, sir?"

me: "Well I have this problem that I can explain to you, or you can just transfer me to tech support."

S.S.: "Go ahead, sir, and explain it to me because we are trained to reprogram phones."

me: "Yeah, well I have already been reprogrammed and that didn't fix my problem."

S.S.: "Well, sir, I don't have any documentation that your phone has been through these steps already."

me: "Yeah, great, I'm very, painfully aware that your system is lacking, but I do know that only tech support can help me."

S.S.: "Sir, we can't move to them until we do these steps first, and you need to call from another phone."

me: "I don't have another phone. Maybe your company could deliver a phone to me, and I'll call you on that. But please just transfer me, I know I don't need to do anything physically to my phone. This phone is already a replacement. That should inform you that the problem is definitely a network-system issue."

S.S.: "No, sir, I can give you the phone number that you can call us back on from another phone line..."

me: "I'll go to the local store and use one of their phone perhaps? Or you could just transfer me to tech support now, and save me some time, which I will be asking for compensation for anyway. So why not save me time, and your company money."

S.S.: "You can go use a phone at the local office. No, I will not transfer you. We do not consider this to be a technical issue."

[We went back and forth for a while, till I realized she was the supervisor because of her extreme stubbornness.]

me: *me having the thought "unbeeeeeliieevable" and then saying, "I'll call you back then on with my non-technical issue in a bit."

[I drove to the Sprint store.]

me: "Hello, I need a phone to call customer care, because they said I had to, and they said you would give me one."

employee dude: "Uh, you could use this one..." [and he motions to one of the display phones that has a retractable phone tether on it]

me: "Please give me one that won't be trying to escape from my hand for the long phone call that I will no doubt be making to you customer care center."

employee lady: "Here use this one." [she hands me a flip phone from her counter]

[I dial the 800 number and wait through the computerized system stuff]

me: "Hi, I have a problem that I've called in about several times, and it's a reoccurring problem with the network. Could you please transfer me to tech support?"

foreign-accent operator: "Sure."

me: "Are you serious? I mean, great. I'm just flabbergasted because I just drove to several miles to use a .... never mind, thanks. I need to register an official complaint against Shaniqua and her supervisor, whoever she is, from 45 minutes ago. Can you do that for me?"

FAO: "Uh, I already got the transfer to tech support ready to go, maybe we should do that later?"

me: "Is it that hard to click out of that screen and file an official complaint?"

FAO: "Yes it is sir, because our system is very slow."

me: "Yeah, I'm familiar with your troubled system. Go ahead and transfer me, please."

[I'm on hold for a while]

tech support lady: "hello."

[She runs me through some basic stuff diagnostic-programming stuff, and I tell her that my phone is not the problem, and she agrees. She then puts me on hold for like 5 minutes.]

T.S.L.: "Hello, sir? Your number is valid in one system, but it isn't getting recognized in the other system. I'm going to put in a trouble ticket for the tech support team to look into it more seriously. It'll take 4-6 hours usually, but it could take 15 hours maximum."

me: "That's quite a while, but that's the best you have got, huh? OK, let's do that. Thanks, bye."


So now I'm waiting to see what new problem pops-up, and the potential additions I can add to this edge-of-your-seat-action narrative. (I should mention that the EVDO data connection on my phone has cut-off now, which is new. My phone says NO SERVICE on the main screen. So I appear to have taken a step back; perhaps I must to take two steps forward.)


**Update:
I called again, after 15 hours, and I was told that it won't be done for 36 business hours. That means I'll have to wait until after the weekend. I'll update this when I leave Sprint or get my service working.

**Update 1/8/07
The MSID number was changed by Sprint people, and, after calling them to find out what it was, I programmed it into my phone. Now it works.
Also, this month I was given 1-month of EVDO data service for free. That was a nice thing, and they told me I needed to call in and cancel it, or I'd get billed for another month ($15 per month). I called in today, and I've had the service for about 4 weeks. They told me that I was trying to cancel the service early, and if I did I would be charged. Right, that makes sense: if I were a massage therapist, and a customer didn't come in after receiving a one-month-free coupon, then I'd send him a bill for the 27 days he did receive my services. Actually, that makes no sense. It's just a ploy by Sprint--they hope I'll forget to cancel on that one specific day, and then they can charge me more. What a pain!

**Update 1/10/07
So I sent some emails to Sprint corporate (7), and I got more compensation. Yay! I actually got two month's worth of compensation, so I won't have to pay for a while. And I got 100 mins free. In my emails to them I referred them to my blog, and I like to think this leveraged a little extra out of them.

Sprint PCS Wireless

The following is a story that will help me release frustration about my dealings with Sprint PCS:

Saturday, 12/30/06, I noticed that my phone had a strange message on it. (I have a Treo 700wx, and I'm currently using the EVDO high speed internet service for a trial 30-day period.) The message on the phone was "MSN Services cannot connect at this time." Ok, that's not a huge deal, whatever. Then I noticed that my phone was strangely quiet. Ok, not the weirdest thing ever, but I just spent my day running errands and reading a book.

Then on Sunday I went to Gustavo's house for New Year's Eve. He said that he had tried to call me several times during the day, and that none of the calls would get to me or my voicemail. I calmly started testing my phone. I couldn't call anyone, not even my voicemail. I tried to call sprint at 611, but that also was denied. The message I got was, "Your account cannot be validated. If you are a Sprint customer call *2." So I called *2 and found out that the office was closed for the holiday. *argh

So on New Year's I was planning on going up to J. Boal's house to watch some college bowl games. He emailed to say that he'd been trying to call me for 2 days (and you know I love to hear that). Before I drove up to Heber City, I tested my roommate's Sprint phone; it worked fine. Then I took some time to drive by the Sprint store, and it had employees in it. "Wow, I CAN get my phone fixed," I exhaled. I went inside, and they ask me for my account information to look at my status on their computers. They said, "The network (for their computers) is going really slow." No surprise, the network was obviously messed up. Eventually, after staring at my phone and account information for about 25 minutes, they said, "Oh, the (?) number is wrong." They inputted a mysterious number into my phone and told me that the phone should be up and running soon—2 hours at the latest.

I headed up to Heber, and enjoyed the games. I periodically tested the phone, but got a message about how I was roaming. I had to dial the phone number again to actually confirm that I wanted to roam. I didn't try to roam, because A) the potential for extra fees and B) I don't have anyone's phone number memorized.

So I was not happy. I took the phone back in on Tuesday to the local Sprint store. They said I must pay a technician $15 to look at the phone (notice that this doesn't guarantee success). I was like, "FINE." I came back an hour later to the store, and they said, "Ok, we're going to have to replace your phone. The old one is broken."

ME: "What???? I can pretty much guarantee there is nothing wrong with the phone. It makes more sense that the problem is with the network considering that I'm getting these recordings about not being validated and roaming."

EMPLOYEE GIRL: “Nope, we can't fix it, and this new phone is what you need. It'll be $55, is that what you want?”

ME: “WHAT? Ok, my phone doesn't have a problem except that the network is working with it. I really don't want to pay you $55 for a new phone when my old phone works in every way except as a phone. Even the EVDO internet works on it perfectly.”

EMPLOYEE GIRL: "I've never heard anyone complain so loudly about getting a brand new $700 phone for $50."

ME: [shocked by her audacity]...[continuing shock due to her dramatic MSRP misquote] ......"Ok, from my perspective, I have a “thing” that works, that I bought from your company for relatively quite a bit of money. Also the thing is quite new. I baby the thing: I clean it regularly in a special way, I never drop it, I don't let water get on it, and I don't let other people touch it very often, even. So your telling me that I have to shell out another $55 to fix a problem that is solvable within your system doesn’t make me happy. The system that I'm responsible for taking care of is not the problem."

EMPLOYEE GIRL: "Yeah, well your thing isn't working, and we can only give you a new one."

ME: "Look, I appreciate any special treatment that I'm getting, but I really don't feel that special. I feel like I'm getting ripped off."

E.G.: "Ok, look, let me see if you're eligible for an upgrade."

ME: "I doubt it; I've only had your service for 3.5 months."

(A few minutes pass as she stares into a glowing panel, and I wonder how I can avoid extra costs)

E.G.: "Ok, it looks like I can just give you the phone and only charge you the $15 tech fee."

ME: "Ok, I guess we can do that. Again, if I'm getting special treatment, I appreciate it, but I feel like I should be getting compensation, not paying more."

I then tested the new phone. If you are unfamiliar with phones-PDA combos, such as the Treo 700wx, let me inform you of a few things:
1) The phones-pda combos (or PANDAS as I nicknamed them) are able to do lots of things
2) Many users load third-party software on them
3) When you get a new PANDA you have to spend a fair amount of time reloading everything back onto them (everything is pretty fast except for loading third-party apps)
4) Imagine getting your entire computer replaced. It's sort of inconvenient to load all the stuff back onto it, and to customize it just how you like it. (It's not as bad as a full-size PC, but you'll get the idea)

Ok, so I made a phone call to my parents to test the phone, and IT WORKED!

The next day I got up and noticed that my phone had no text messages and no phone messages. I'm not super popular, but getting nothing over a few hours is pretty weird. I have some services set up that automatically send me txt messages to notify me of other things going on, so I thought that I'd need to call Sprint to fix my txt message service. I then noticed that suddenly my PANDA displayed that I have a voice mail. OK, I called to check, and I got the recording, "Your account cannot be validated." So I'm was pretty sure that my head was going to pop off. I thought, "I'm going to go down to the Sprint store now, and I will say something that makes it all better; but what to say??"

(This next paragraph might be confusing)

As I pondered on that topic, I decided to look at a list of potential comedy ideas that I keep stretched across 30 meticulously categorized MS Word files. I keep these files in a folder that synchronizes between my PC and my PANDA. Then my brain fluttered because I noticed that one of my files was missing. Then my stomach dropped because I realized that a handful of my newer files were missing. Then I realized that *GASP* the last six months of my beautiful comedy material was GONE! This was where I started to freak out (and you thought I was freaking out before), I put my head on the desk and closed my eyes. My mind produced an image of my comedy creations burning in a huge bonfire, screaming out in agony. The worst thing was that it was that I could have prevented the catastrophe. I'm not sure why the new PANDA synchronized with six-month-old files, but I did manually delete the files from my PC that were updated from the day before because they were set-up to synch with the old PANDA. I didn’t think I needed them anymore. I didn't bother checking to make sure that my new phone was synching with the newest stuff. I had even emptied my recycle bin. My mind was swirling down into bitter acceptance of my foolish personal disaster. Worse things could happen, obviously, but you don't want to spend months writing down everything you hear that is clever and funny, only to lose it. (The phone problem was taking a backseat to the new comedy problem.) "Where could I find the deleted files? Did I back them up somewhere else—hard copies?" I frantically searched for anything.

Then I googled “file recovery” and I found a trial program for that claimed it could recover deleted stuff. I desperately downloaded and installed it. I ran the program which took 30 minutes to give me some options. Eventually I located the files that I had deleted, which were the updated comedy files, including some personal narratives and other personal reports about life and such. Ok, I so then I felt ok. There was one new bummer; the only way to get them back into the normal file system was to pay $79 to the software developer. So I paid the money, and got a license code, and then I got back the deleted files. *Sigh of relief

Then I called Sprint Customer Care. A tech support person told me that it was a NETWORK PROBLEM! It only took like 30 seconds to fix, over the phone, and it required me to do nothing except wait and then soft reset my PANDA. After this other episode, my emotions were drained enough that I only negotiated to be compensated a little bit for the inconveniences: I got 100 free minutes and a $6 credit to my account.

So I have a new PANDA for free, but I didn't really need one. And now I need to load all my old software back on, and synchronize my PC files back with it.

What a day, what a day.

The moral of the story is to avoid local offices when you need network service.

insanity

So I just got done watching one of the most exciting college bowl games ever: the 2006 Fiesta Bowl--Boise St. vs. Oklahoma. You can read about it on ESPN and other sports websites, but let me just say WOW. After a bunch of unusual plays, it all came down to a decisive 2-pt conversion in OT.

Anyway, Oregon St. also did a 2-pt conversion when a 1-pt would tie it. I don't know why football coaches decide to go for 2-pt conversions when they can tie and go to overtime with an extra point kick. I don't know what the average success percentages are for each post-TD play, but I imagine the kick is much higher.

What is going on in a coaches mind to risk the entire game on one play? When I see it, the thought flashing in my mind is, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TIE THE GAME, AND WIN IT IN OVERTIME!" I guess the BSU coach was just trying to avoid an extension of the game, and he thought he could win.