Wednesday, April 26, 2006

plastic surgery

Sometimes I think that plastic surgery is a miracle. I know that some doctors make mistakes when doing plastic surgery, but I figure that I could do a little research and get the best doctor. Sure it might cost a little extra, but it's worth it. Then I see movie stars, who have approximately one bazillion dollars more than I do; they have awful plastic surgery. How could I afford something better than their sad results?
Have you seen this stuff?

Meg Ryan: before and after

Why did she let someone take her picture? Is there no fix for the mistake on her face? It's like the Joker treatment from Batman. I'm freaked out. I flee from the suggestion of plastic surgery.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

kick me again...

I got kicked in a movie theater.

Nancy, Mike, and I went to see Firewall (which I rate a C+). We walked into the theater a few minutes before the lights were to dim and the previews begin. We made our way toward the front, looking for 3 open seats. In the 4th and 5th rows I saw lots of open seats, and I headed that direction, leading my friends with me. I tip-toed over a couple girls and sat down. Maybe 15 seconds later I hear a guy from another row telling my roommate that our seats were saved for some other people. "What?" I asked, leaning back to that guy's row. I confirmed that he had said that, and then replied, "All these seats? I think the official policy is that you can only save one other seat besides the one you will be sitting in." Then the guy got angry and growled, "Oh yeah?! Why don't you go ask them yourself?"
me: "Because I'm not confused, and I am fine sitting right here."
guy: "You can't just take other people's seats! You guys are *******!"
me: "Uh, ok. Well if you saved them, then how 'come we're sitting in them?"

Then as the previews were beginning another guy snuck up behind me and said
guy 2: He I'm not trying to be a ********, but I got here 45 minutes early so that I could save 13 seats for my friends, and they will be here soon and so could you please just move."
me: "Look, this isn't a ward activity; it's a public movie theater. You can save one seat for another person. ...Where would you even want us to sit?"
(he pointed to the front corner of the theater)
me: "No, we're not going over there, those seats are terrible. We got here, we sat down, and then people started telling us that these seats are saved. Well sorry, they weren't saved. "

I then turned around to sit back and watch the screen. I few seconds later I felt my seat launch me forward, it took me a split second to realize why--guy 2 had just kicked my seatback with his legs with all the angry frustration he could muster. Lucky for me the seats are well padded. Unlucky for him Nancy was now provoked and unleasing her verbally fury. I turned to look and saw that his legs were stretched out fully between his seat and the top of my seatback. Guy 3 from behind guy 2 stood up and said, "(to guy 2) Get your feet down right now! Get 'em down, now!" He reluctantly removed his feet from my seatback. Then other people started "poaching" his seat reserves. Insults were hurled. The seat poachers said, "Tell your **** friends to get here on time." or "There's no ***** saving seats."

I'm not saying that trying to save one or two seats is terrible, but you should do it with a coat, with a adhesive tape, or with a theater usher. If your friends show up late, don't get all crazy about it: especially not when you're trying to save two entire center rows through the previews.

After the movie, my 6'2'' 260 lbs roommate said that he was hoping they'd kick our seats again so he could "lay the smack down."

british version

This also reminds me of the Kevin Bagoyo set of events.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Jordan, Bryant, and James Compared

Let's compare Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Lebron James:

I would like to compare the 3rd year NBA statistical averages for these three. (Michael was approx. 23.2 yrs old; Kobe was 20.8, and James will 21.3 at the end of their 3rd regular seasons.)

So 3rd NBA year stats for Michael Jordan top 7 categories, Lebron James' top 5, and Kobe's top 1.

Which categories are most important? Tough question: I'd say that fg%, 3pt%, tot. rebounds, steals, blocks and low turn overs are most important.
In those categories we have the scores Michael 3, Lebron 2, and Kobe 1. I guess that means that Lebron is on-pace to be double the player that Kobe is, and 66.6% of the player that Michael Jordan was, in my bogus determination.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

NFL draft approaching...

Who should the Houston Texans take for the 1st round pick in the NFL draft this year? Some say Vince Young; most of the press says Reggie Bush. What are the normal people saying?

Posted by: Michael Simmons at March 27, 2006 04:55 PM

Oh my goodness, listen to all these Texans fans from Houston saying that vince young would be a better pick than reggie bush!!!! I can't believe you guys think that picking vince young over reggie bush is actually a good idea. What is it that you guys want? Do you think that the Texans organization are actually going to pick vince when an awesome talent like reggie bush is waiting in the wings? I can't believe how blinded you guys are. I'm a diehard Texans fan just like anybody and reggie bush will be that big piece of the puzzle. Vince young being from Houston does not mean anything if you can't win with him. Have you seen how many times m. vick has gotten hurt due to running? link

It's true that some Texas fans may be medically blind, but I must admit that I cannot truly believe that Mr. Simmons owns a TV. If he had a TV he would've at least seen some of the circus-freak-show highlights of Vince Young putting on "one of the most dominating individual performances in college football history, accounting for 467 yards of total offense (200 rushing, 267 passing) and three rushing touchdowns (including a 9 yard TD scramble with 19 seconds left)."link Even the blind people in Texas could feel the inferno of heat that came from Young's scorching performances in the past two seasons.

"Have you seen how many times m. vick has gotten hurt due to running?"
And what about Michael Vick getting injured? Vick is 215 lbs and 6'0'' after 6 years in the NFL. Young is 233 lbs and 6'5'' coming out of his junior year of college. I see a major difference here. Vince hasn't gained all his weight, and he's 5'' taller. An even bigger, more powerful bull Vince will be; Vick is a sprinter with a football helmet on.

"Vince if like Vick is not a good Fantasy player but a fun player to watch them run for their lives." Young doesn't run for his life. Have you even seen him run? He is comfortable, calm, methodical; he is tall enough to see everyone. He glides easily for the yardage that a RB should be getting. Soon he will get to his full NFL weight; he won't be getting injured much. It seems like most QBs get injured when they are small and light-weight, and they don't see people diving over the line into their patella. Young will see them coming, and will be running for an 80-yard TD. The dude survived a car hitting him. (See bottom.)

Reggie Bush is crazy good. Everyone agrees to that. "Bush is a great player but when has a 190 pound running back carried a team on his shoulders to the big game?" That's a good question. Barry Sanders couldn't do it by himself. Reggie Bush has a long way to go to prove he's as good as Barry Sanders.

"Reggie Bush: This guy can run like a beast."
No, I definitely wouldn't describe his running as beast-like. Lindell White was the beast-runner for USC. Bush is more of a finesse runner. He doesn't run straight ahead if there isn't a big hole. As a matter of fact, I'd take Lindell ahead of Bush. He'd be a better bang for one's buck.

"Wouldn't Bush have had better stats if he were the lone star player on his team?"
You can speculate and say, "He would have had double the total yardage!"
If that's true, then how did he get dominated in the Rose Bowl by the Texas defense even with his supporting cast? Maybe other team defenses would've had an even easier time containing him then the Longhorn D if he were the only star! He better have the same supporting cast in the NFL or he will become an expert on the ceiling design of the NFL locker rooms.

The bottom-line: Can Vince carry a team himself? Yes. Can Reggie? Who knows.

And about the Wonderlic scores:

All I need to know about Vince Young is that he came up with one of the greatest performances ever in the Rose Bowl. In the fourth quarter, I saw (USC coach) Pete Carroll throw every kind of blitz at Vince. I saw Vince read the blitz and beat the blitz. I don't care what his Wonderlic score is. The only score I care about is 41-38. --Sean Jones, a member of the Oakland Raiders' personnel department link

If the Texans want to sell tickets, then they should give Vince a call and a big NFL QB check.

Even if Young ended up being a bust, which would mostly happen if there were injury, Houston wouldn't abandon the Texans team. Instead they would be more deeply endeared. But that's a small risk in my mind.

Something you may not know about Vince Young:

At the age of 7, Young was struck by a vehicle while riding his bicycle at the corner of Tidewater and Buxley streets in his Houston neighborhood. The accident nearly killed him and left him hospitalized for months[5]. Today, he credits this event for making him into a tougher man. link

correct thinking

"Feminism is all about the power to choose. Half a century ago, it is likely that my current stay at home status wouldn't have been mine to accept or reject. Instead it simply would have been the way it was. That was the case for the brilliantly stifled Betty Friedan, an Ivy League educated genius who launched the modern women's movement when she wrote "The Feminine Mystique" after finding herself literally imprisoned by societal expectations that she confine her interests to home and hearth. Twenty years later, Friedan re-explored the lives of American women in "The Second Wave", in which she argued that the assumption that every woman should construct a life centered primarily around earning a wage could be just as limiting as previous social paradigms."-source