Plastic Ute

We all know that the Ute's pulled off an intercollegiate miracle last
year when they beat us on the football field with a back-up
quarterback. But now they've embarrassed us again, this time off the
field. I don't know how they crept with their slimy tentacles past our
vigilant campus guards, but they obviously have. The Utes got onto
campus and have covered all our statues with ugly plastic. Oh how it
makes my blood boil! It's despicable and adolescent: it's
despic-escent.

We must respond to keep our cougar-pride intact. A bed-wetting few
might say we should take the moral high-ground by doing nothing, but
this is definitely something worth fighting over, I mean for.


(For those who don't know, this is a joke. BYU actually covers their own statues with plastic to protect them from Utah Ute rivalry-related vandalism)